Why Hast Thee Forsaken Me?
by Sainte Matthewe
Summary: Third in the Sole Survivor series. Farfarello muses with his former self (Jei) about the past. (summary courtsy of La Atressa)


**_Sole Survivor:_**

_**'Why Hast Thee Forsaken Me?'**_

_By Sainte Matthewe_

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_Author's Note: *sweatdrops*  Oh, mai.  Not this theme, again.  Apparently my aggressive muse likes this one too well. *sighs*  Anyways, inspired by the B side to Welcome to My Nightmare by Alice Cooper, this contemplation of the sin of survival takes a different turn.  Italics without caps are used to represent Jei, and normal type is used for Farfarello.  I don't own Jei/Farfarello, nor any other Weiss Kreuz-related terms or characters.  They are owned by Koyasu Takehito and Project Weiss.   Warnings, Dear Reader, include violence, perhaps some language, and Deep Space Atomic Spoiler Action! _

_Muse's Note: Speaking of 'Deep Space Atomic Spoiler Action,' how about a Trigun fic?_

_AN: Shut up, you._

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            Jei.  I hate that name.  It grates on my nerves, so halting, so uncertain, so…so childish.  Hardly a name befitting a great demon such as I.  A demon that steals the life of Holy Innocents, and pains God with every breath, yet feels no pain.  My name is Farfarello.  Isn't it nice?  Doesn't it just roll seductively off the tongue?  Yes.  That is my name, which I am.  Farfarello.

            _but i, jei, am not yet dead.  i am the part of him who still weeps, who still feels pain.  i am who the nightmares still haunt, even after fourteen years…_

            What?  You.

            _yes, me.  i was once a good little boy, completely unaware of the other that slept within me.  ever faithful, when he spoke, i thought it was the voice of god. _

Hardly.  You were as aware of me as I was of you.

            _NO!  i thought i talked to god, and it made her smile.  her smile was as bright as the silver ring she wore.  a wedding band.  she was married to god._

And she cheated on Him.  The whore.

            _Don't say that!  …it was true, though.  Sister Ruth.  my Teacher.  my Guiding Light.  i was her favorite student not because of my unwavering devotion to her god, but because i was her son._

Ha!  A nun indulging in the sin of the flesh!  I bet that hurt my Adversary!

            _I was weakened by the shock, the sight of her tears.  crying as she told me.  the other took advantage of it, and broke free.  he took my body and killed my family…_

And their pain as they died was immensely satisfying.  Their innocence made it all the sweeter, believing as they did in the lies of a nun who broke her vows.  It was grand.  Artistic, even.  The red of blood against porcelain.  I'm glad I did it.

            _If you were so proud of it, why did you tenderly wrap little sister's body in the angel tapestry?_

……

            _i saw it.  i was the sole survivor, but i hid when Sister Ruth came.  i didn't want to face her tears, her disappointment, again.  i hid in a cave of my mind, and the other, drunk on the power of life and death rolled a boulder over the mouth.  he then drove the truth far outside himself, and began to believe he was a victim._

_            the years passed, and i remained in my tomb, until Her voice penetrated the stone.  my Mary Magdalene. _

Whore of God.  Resurrected, what a joke.

            _but, but…_

Shut up, you.  Haven't you died, yet?  Strangled by your misery?  All is quiet.  Silence means consent.  Good…

            "Jei!"

            Again with that horrible name!  Jei.  It's the name of that child.  A child who I am no longer.  A child who died.  A child who's Innocence I stole.  Farfarello am I, who massacares God's Holy Innocents.  A great demon, for I feel no pain.

            _--but i do.  sin stings horribly.  acid._

            Hmph.  Do not call me Jei.

"Farfarello!"  The voice from outside myself calls.

            That's better.  Jei and that lie he called family are dead.  I am the sole survivor; I am Farfarello.

**_The Aftermath:_**_ So, our favorite Berserker suffers from multiple personality syndrome?  Schizophrenia?  Bi-polar disorder?  Whatever.  Special thanks to Atressa-chan, the eternal Farfie-fan, to dragon-chan, who inadvertently got me started on the Sole Survivor theme, to all the nice people who review my fics, and most of all, you, Dear Reader. ^^ ~Sainte, contemplating the next stupid chicken-fic._


End file.
